BusyBee

After three weeks of self-imposed exile (AKA a family holiday in Mandurah with no internet connection) I have realised that going cold-turkey from my net-addiction is just plain ugly for me and all those who had to suffer my horrible withdrawal symptoms. I feel now that I can truly sympathise with young Lindsay Lohan, although I noticed that when she said she was no longer going to drink alcohol, what she meant was that she was no longer going to drink it out of cocktail glasses, but rather out of something more discrete, like, say, a bottle of water instead. Gotta admire her cheatin’ ways… Anyway, not being able to connect with the internet meant that I had lots more time on my hands over the Christmas/New Year holidays to spend with my family. (Frankly, there is a strong possibility that family time is overrated. ;D) To be honest, as part of my rehab (after an intervention from those closest to me) I had to face up to some of my own inner demons. And make some resolutions going forward. Here is an example of some of the conversations I had with myself:

1. Britney is low-rent, white trash. No-one wants to hear about her anymore. (And yet, she was the celebrity most googled last year, and everyone, and I mean everyone, even my grandmother, knows the shape of her caesarian scar, amongst other intimate details of her life). I resolve to avoid taking cheap shots at the poor girl who obviously needs sympathy and understanding, a night in her own house, less alcohol, family and childrens services intervention, a GOOD friend, not an enabler, a personal stylist, an exorcism, Paris Hilton out of her life and quite frankly, to just disappear for the next six to eighteen years…. However, I appreciate that I am only human, and sometimes, she will do something so outrageous that I will overwhelmingly tempted to blog about her. Please forgive me any weakness on my behalf.

2. Anna Nicole Smith is a train wreck. I love that about her!/I hate that about her! It’s very yin/yang. That works for me.

3. Posh Spice. For goodness sake, eat something you stupid waste of space then go and join Britney on an island somewhere. Phew. Thank God I got that off my chest. I feel much better. Now I never have to talk about her again.

4. The big stuff: What do I really want to blog about? Look, I have to admit, as much fun and totally addictive all the global celebrity stuff is, I know that you guys can get it from many other sources, not just me. What I want to do is really bring a Perth flavour to this gossip site. Whilst I like to think I have one ear to the ground and and the other eavesdropping on someone else’s conversation, the truth is, I am going to need a little help. So if you, my fellow Cit J’s, hear any juicy gossip, please help me out and forward it on to me. To that end, I do have a couple of stories that came my way over the holidays. They may be a little old now, but indulge me nonetheless.

I heard that on a certain high-profile AFL players bucks party, the charter boat skipper that took the revellers to Rotto had to turn his vessel around before schedule due to the drunkeness of the partygoers. As the boat (which has a need, a need for speed…) powered back to Freo at 22 knots, it is rumoured that the ’spiritual leader’ of the gang felt a little hot and bothered and decided that what he needed was a cool and refreshing swim. Which resulted in a full-scale emergency man-overboard rescue. Needless to say, when the boat got into Freo Port, there were some men in blue to greet them. I guess the swim may have sobered him up, because the party was allowed to carry on their merry way. Although, it seems that it wouldn’t be the last time that evening they would cross paths. After venturing up the coast to a hotel by the beach, the boys next attracted the attention of the police when residents of an apartment block nearby complained that they had obviously not understood the directions they had been given for the toilets and had taken a left turn instead of a right, which had them relieving themselves in the lobby of the apartment owners building… Luckily, they were able to flee the scene and take refuge at a nightclub in Subi, where the Groom is often seen, accompanied by his minder, because the lad has got himself in trouble in night clubs before, and quite frankly, needs minding. So, quite an adventurous night for the boys who like to fly high… (Mind you, judging by the pictures I saw on the Channel Nine News a few days later, they all scrubbed up alright on the big day).

Speaking of footballers, there has been much hype about the debut of Rebecca Twigley as the new weekend weather girl on Channel Seven. She seems to be following the footsteps of Natalia Cooper over at Channel Nine, being groomed by the networks whilst still completing their degrees at Curtin University. Natalia started with Nine whilst she was still a journalism student. Rebecca is studying Speech Pathology. Maybe so she can help all those poor souls who drool in her presence….

And finally, because, well, I just can’t resist a good bitch-fight, I feel compelled to tell you that in an absolutely classic case of pot-calling-kettle-black, Angelina Jolie has decided that kicking Jennifer Anniston when she was down by admitting she stole Brad from her just isn’t as much fun as having a go at Madonna for ‘illegally’ adopting baby David from Malawi and that basically, all the angst Madonna is copping from the press is her own fault. Not only that, but St Angelina would ‘never take a child from a place where adoption is illegal’. Now, this promises to get juicy. Madonna loves a fight….

So, there you go. Sorry I haven’t posted for such a long time, but, onwards and upwards for 2007!