All I can say is thank goodness this CNN anchor had the balls to try and put it all into perspective. Shame the News Director doesn’t have any…

Congratulations to new mum Tina Altieri, Channel Seven Perth presenter and her husband Stephen as they welcome their son Jackson into the world.  Jackson was born at 10.51 yesterday (10/7/07) weighing 3.6 kg (8lb 1oz for us luddites that can’t think of birthweight in metric units…).  Mum and Dad are said to be over the moon with the safe arrival of their first child.

Firstly, I was saying Nicole Ritchie needed to put on weight. Admittedly, even I didn’t see it being in the form of a pregnancy, but still, you gotta be careful what you wish for sometimes.

I wished that Britney, Lindsay and Paris would all disappear to a deserted island. Well, I didn’t get that, but I got the nest best thing… Paris went to jail (didn’t we all breathe just a little easier knowing she was off the streets even for just three weeks!), Lindsay went to rehab (twice, but who is counting and Britney is proving that she is even more trashy than I could ever have imagined! And in a glorious peice of pot-calling-the-kettle-black she is warning her own mother to keep away from her poor babies because she is a terrible mother. Seriously! You can’t make this stuff up! Not only that, it turns out that K-Fed was really the good guy all along!

The wedding of the year (according to Channel 9 and every Australian tabloid) between Jamie Packer and Erica Baxter has been and gone, but if you didn’t get invited to that one, perhaps you might get an invite to Kate and Wills Windsor’s big bash - Date TBA.

Oh, and for those who still even care, Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have broken up…again.

Good to know that even Royals get drunk and pash their exes on the dance floor at their birthday party. Britain’s tabloids are wildly speculating that Royal wedding plans are back on after reports that Prince William was seen snogging recently dropped girlfriend Kate Middleton on the dancefloor of a party at his barracks. Good gracious people, settle down! It is a well known fact that a basic part of breaking-up 101 is drunken pashing, drinking-and-dialing at 3am, driving by their house at all hours, turning up at parties where you know they will be…(not that I know this from personal experience or anything, it is just what I heard, from, like, other people and stuff…). Everyone should probably just take a deep breath.

Having said that, I always thought the break-up was a ruse, and that the two of them have always continued their relationship, but just tried to throw the media off the scent. Watch this space, and remember, you read it here first…

What’s wrong with picture? Has she a mysterious third hand, or was someone simply not attractive enough to include in the catalogue? Or is she just incredibly flexible?!

For your viewing pleasure. What a shame they didn’t lock Paris up for assault and battery of our eyes and ears when she released her hideous record..

That nice young lad from the Eagles, Ben Cousins, made good use of his imposed exile from football last weekend by joining a group of 50 of Perth’s up and coming movers and shakers on an all-expenses paid junket to Melbourne thanks to a property consortium from Victoria that is keen to see some Western Australian cash invested into Victorian coffers. The Boy’s weekend/business opportunity saw the selected few going to the footy on Friday night (where Ben sat with members of the Eagles squad who were not playing in the game against Essendon), tours of Melbourne’s finest nightspots in the evenings, and site visits to property developments during the day. Apparently Melbourne may be running out of water, but there is no shortage of new property developments. You too could own an apartment in the same street as James Hird for a few million…

By all accounts, Ben was on his best behaviour all weekend however, keeping to himself and not partying with the rest of the fella’s into the wee small hours of the morning. One member of the tour made the comment to me, however, that ” No matter where we went, Ben was followed by at least 20 girls wanting to talk to him. I was happy to stand nearby and wait for his handballs!” Needless to say, the attention Ben attracted from females and males alike that wanted to talk to him was enough to make another member of the tour say “Poor bastard, if this is what his life is like everyday, no wonder he has issues…”

Not sure if Ben was one of the many in the 50 movers and shakers that made commitments to buy some of the property they were exposed to on the weekend, but hey, if you are earning that much money and not playing football or doing drugs, a man has to have a hobby….

The buzz is we might see the final series of “The Soprano’s” here in Australia on free-to-air TV in August. C’mon!!! If we can get crap like Survivor within 24 hours of it screening in the US, why not Tony’s moment of truth???  And we would like to see it at a decent time of night, not 3am, if that is not too much to ask…

Our favourite de-throned Eagle has always fancied himself a bit of a fashion-plate, always sporting the latest hair-do and sharp clothing.  Is rehab going to be the next fashion trend he adopts?  I think this weeks revelations also shed new light on this story posted in January…

The evening was MC’d by Tim Gossage from Channel 10, who realised very early that he was going to have his work cut out for him because no-one in the crowd stopped talking while he was introducing the event. But he can take some solace from the fact that the crowd at least kept it down to a dull roar while he was speaking. WA Business News Executive Director, Elton Swarts had to ask the crowd for their attention more than once, and his requests were largely ignored. Poor guy, I felt really sorry for him.   The event has been run for six years now, and offers an impressive list of previous winners.  Some, however have raised eyebrows, and conversation on our table drifted to the likelihood that some of the names would hit the headlines in the future but not perhaps for their business prowess, but more their fall from grace.
The black tie event had lots of glitz and glamour, although when it came to the girls dresses, it would seem that black is the new black. On a balmy evening, the guys found little use for their tux jackets, especially during dinner when the airconditioners were working overtime to keep the crowd cool. The ferry, however, really showcased the skills and quality of the boatbuilders at Austal Ships, and Chairman John Rothwell had every reason to feel proud of his talented team and their latest project. The only thing that perplexed the party-goers was how to negotiate the squat-toilets in some of the bathrooms - a few alcoholic beverages and a tux or long dress proving a tricky combination!! Needless to say queues for the Western toilets were long…